I en artikel på AlterNet
When I first began working in the sex industry, I believed the cultural script about the men who made it profitable. Male sexual desire consisted of seeing thin young women naked and suffering, handled roughly, used callously. I read and trusted every word by Andrea Dworkin and Catherine MacKinnon. There was so much evidence to support their theories of how male hatred of women was expressed through abusive sex.
Frankly, men terrified me. I suspected they were incapable of compassion. To get them off, I thought, they all needed cruelty.
Wow… Hårda ord från en person jag, efter att bara läst en artikel, anser vara mycket intelligent och full av liv och lycka! Trotts hennes arbete som prostituerad. Hon fortsätter lite senare:
It occurred to me that many men had trouble expressing empathy because no one had ever taught them how. Most were clueless, not brutal—although some were both. Lots of these guys had grown up so confused and undereducated about the female anatomy that they hardly even had a sense of what sensations might feel best or what activities were most satisfying.
The more men I talked to, the more sympathetic I felt. I was approaching the biggest epiphany of my life: men had as much anxiety and shame around sex as women did. We were all in this together, and any ideology that couldn’t admit as much was doomed to fail.
Mer hårda ord, här upplever jag den riktad mot feminismen som genom sitt ideliga arbete att förbjuda och tvinga män och kvinnor att inte upptäcka sina naturliga sexuella sidor skapar denna obalans där man inte har en aning om vad som fungerar och vad som inte fungerar. Tråkigt! Hon skriver längre ned i artikeln följande:
I’ve been hired by men who never asked me to get naked, never requested that I touch their genitals. There’s always conversation, regardless of the other activities during a date: clients talk to me about their parents (especially their fathers) and about failing marriages or life after divorce. They often show me pictures of their children and, sometimes, spouses.
Jaha, så män som köper sex är alltså inte intresserade av att skada, de vill ha en konversation oavsett om de vill ha sex eller inte. Men störst av allt: alla som köper hennes tjänster vill inte ha sex! Vem hade trott det?
Jag tänkte avsluta med två stycken till från hennes artikel som jag tycker alla borde läsa:
The clients who do want to have sex—and of course, there are many—don’t want that sex to be uncomfortable or unpleasant for me. They want to me to take pleasure in the act as well. They want to feel attractive and competent and gentle and attentive. Many of them are all of those things.
When Melissa Farley tells The Economist that men who hire prostitutes “are not nice guys looking for a normal date. They regularly attempt to rape and strangle women,” she’s not talking about my experience. Farley’s cloudy thinking rests on the belief that a man’s sexual interest in a woman is fundamentally disrespectful, fundamentally abusive, and fundamentally wrong.